My New Years Resolutions Have Been So Great
My resolutions have been so great, so terrific, and terribly nice.
I have liked them down to my toes, the first was to be a cop of vice.
I wanted a fire truck, and clang the bell, and drive myself to the Y
Where I would swim sixteen miles a day, and end up incredibly fly.
The cops would not take me as I was one month and six days too old.
So I applied to be a Disc Jockey, so brassy, and cute and bold.
They had advertised for an enthusiastic, talker, and a go-getter,
This resolution now off my list, because I could not get a sitter.
I resolved to see my best friends once a week for coffee and a snack.
But out of the six I called and texted, only one called back.
She said, my resolution is to stay home and eat healthy this year.
A veggie meal which I had to invite myself to was my greatest fear.
I would stop spending excessive money, stay away from the mall.
I disposed of this resolution as my only hobby is shopping after all
As my friend, I must let you know, in case it is not decidedly clear
This year's resolutions are the exact same ones I had last year.
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