My Love, My Hope, My Goddess
My Love, my Hope, my Goddess there can be no words formed by mortal lips sufficient to proclaim the glory which lived in me the season your love bloomed so completely within my life. My words are no more than foolhardy attempt to exhault the Devine path by which you carved your name so deftly and completely upon my heart and my soul. I consider it shameful, no sinful, I should allow this simple mind attempt to weave a bouquet of eloquence with mere words, yet I know the far greater sin would allow such miraculous glory go unstated. If only the floral palette of majestic poets could flow from this tongue ..... oh the loss sacrificed by said meager attempt... yet stumble forward I must in order to avoid that greater stated sin .
You my love are the breath that raised me up, restored my life and gave me hope. Your heartbeat the fountain of salvation which sprung forth the cleansing flow, washing my wretched loneliness away. An eternity and more I waited alone yet in one moment was comforted by the tender provision of your love and your grace. Gentle kisses restored my sight, my hope, my dignity and my life. Tears flow unceasingly when I live again in the memory of kisses so softly laid upon my face. Do know now that those kisses linger still with such sweet recall.......oh such Ecstasy ! What did you see in me that you extend your hand, softened your heart and showered me with the radiance of your love? How could one as Devine as you find reason to lift me up, yay find solace in me ? Yes you, I, we touched and in doing so forever became one. I alone being the missing flesh which made you whole as you for me. Violin and bow played with such passionate majesty. Strings not, but delicate fibers pressed together that in their passing the joyful moan of pleasured resistance might strike that magical climatic note bringing us both to worldly ecstasy. Exploring, touching and searching every fiber we found that perfect pitch, tone and harmony resonating within one-another .
Pleasure is pleasure and pain is pain and what of now my love ?
But now, now my love, now,,,, oh at the pain which has entrapped and engulfed me in totality . Damn the memory of ecstasy that it be followed by such crushing darkness. The very love that sang to the heavens now has ripped our souls and destroyed our hearts, souring us from those heavenly highs. How far did we fall as I turned due to duty , yea responsibility? Tormented how oft did you cry foul, I having left you standing in tears. Did your eyes see only a weaver of lies? The loss,,, my god the loss, the truths I swore are still true now but known not to you, no longer to you. In time ago I held your body so close to mine, stared into your eyes , eyes I see still without escape,and proclaimed undying love . Eyes, the haunting beauty and vacuumious windows through which I saw the perfection of your soul. Forgive me. Forgive me. Through streaming tears I beg forgive me. Ignorance was mine, failure was mine. Unescapable duty was mine. That weight not transferable. The words I whispered now in vain , the tenderness exchanged for pain but the proclamation of love still standing in truth. Oh my sorrow that you know it not. Did you believe my path was lite, I cared not bout the destruction of regained life ? Now a broken man but you know nothing of the scar burned forever into my heart, nor I of yours I fear. The world shall never hear the words that color my love for you, words born from the river of loss, will never flow from my lips for in doing so they expose the true measure of what we were and thus confess the totality of what I had, we had, we were meant to be. To say the things that are buried so deep only giving you hope and prolonging your pain, neglecting the truth, no longer a path for us to share. Oh wretched world that you would see such a loss and not weep openly, halting time and rebirthing what should have been. Oh wretched world, oh wretched me for once again I walk alone.
Darrell
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