My Grand Obsession
This wild and abandoned love that I feel for you
Desperate and obsessive and willfully blind
Love as love is at its purest
With no sense of the future
Love beguiled by the present and unable to see the signs
That’s what always scares me the most
The total domination of my feelings
Being consumed by you
Constantly thinking about you
Every thought, every feeling, every impulse
Whatever I was doing there you were
The fantasies constantly racing through my mind
You became my Grand Obsession
At times, the old fears would push to the surface, like a strange de ja vu
I would say to myself
Tomorrow will be different, this foolishness will end
I will wake feeling normal again and sane
But that never seems to happen
I think of the moments when I am with you
When nothing else seems to matter
And how the anticipation of future meetings is somehow, sometimes, more than
my heart can endure
When I feel lost, desperate and somehow, almost ashamed
This obsession is madness
What have I become
Where is my world
Then I suddenly realize
Too late
It’s already gone
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