Love Poem: More Foolish Than the Fool I Am

More Foolish Than the Fool I Am

waking up to
what I thought was a
normal day
until I take a step forward
walking into
the invisible barbed wires
cutting into my outreaching hands
blood dripping down my arms
my face scarred
tears of crimson
i couldn’t see the limits
still can’t see them
never knowing how long they will last
staying in the same position
eyes only chasing the glowing stars
that appear once a month
never knowing what they are 
with no way of ever finding out
with time revolving around me
mocking me of my own immobility
while time freely goes forward
on its own accord
i envy time
i envy the cranes flying freely in the heavens above
i envy movement
full of vitality and hope
the motion of the waves
predictable in its predictability
the rainstorms pounding down the windows
comes and goes
never knowing when it will come next
comes and goes
with the towers of sunlight
erecting through the skies
only to be striked down
in a moment of seconds
i envy
i wish i could forget everything
i learned about the constellations
the existence of 
the phoenixes and the dragons
the rise and the deaths of
the past gods and goddesses
that once ruled our earth 
i wish i was more foolish
than the fool i already am
what is more painful is
a fool who knows that they’re a fool
and that is the truth
the wretched yet inevitable truth
that I can never run away from
just keeps flashing back at me
endlessly like
a pounding pendulum
that never leaves my head
to the peace and quiet of my
solidarity sobs