Monologue About Her: Part Four of Four
Would I be disappointed though
If this didn’t lead to more?
Four years of waiting
And all we have is idle conversation.
Two people who changed so much
That they’re barely the same people
Who fell in love in the first place.
What’s the point
Of rekindling those old parts
The parts of each other that we remember
Of who we used to be
Out of who we are now?
Whether for better or worse
We’ve changed
And we can’t go back.
Why am I so scared?
Scared of what you think
Someone who I told everything to
Was honest about everything to
Who I felt like my true self around
Because they fit that hole in my heart
Left by the last girl who did this.
Will I become obsessed with you?
Ruining what I have now?
Taking away the happiness
The stability I have now
For the possibility of you
Seeing me the way you used to?
Am I obsessed with you?
Why do I want you to be obsessed with me?
Do you want the same for me?
It’s not healthy for either of us.
We know this
But we can’t help ourselves.
I can’t help myself
But want you.
And I hope that you
Want me to.
Is this the end?
How does this end?
With more forgotten memories?
Moments that seemed so important
Now flickering away into insignificance
Those moments that I can’t escape from
No matter how hard I try
Do I want to escape from you?
Am I better off forgetting you?
It’s now 7 in the morning
And I can’t stop thinking about you.
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