Mindless
My Mind whats it doing?....where is trying to go? A once safe haven only i could control. What happen to me i feel like im falling so deep into a lonely darkness. thats now in my mind i recognize it its not my first time. confused and lost its just me again. feeled with anger and sadness its already consumed. i come here often .sometimes you know whats going on and most of the time I linger away its quiter there not much to say. quick flashes of images come out just for a second not long enough to figure it all out...I see u when I go to that place...i smile and wave it gave me comfort just to see your face..sometimes the flashes are really hard to take...whats it all mean i try to think to myself... maybe in my mind this is really how it is not a mistake. it feels like something pulling on me to go that way so i let go a lil cause my mind needs to go the other way ...conversations are heard i dont really know why...i..hardly remember cant seem to reach out to my own mind...slowly im slipping and leaving my family behind...im sorry for all this pain and disappointment i might have to leave behind...i cant even understand it...so i just cry...when i wants to it can have thoughts and worries all night...than there is the times when not a single thing will cross my mind....i know i have to let u go...its so hard i cant let go...but it seems like i have to try to save whats left of my mind...i erase the thought quickly you are my sanity without you my life went blank...thats why my mind is doing the same...too broken and weak no use in trying..cause i noticed today my heart stopped trying..and now. it looks like im comfy like i once had been...and u here with me. im happy again....but wait i hear my daughters voices...mommy come back...but i dont want to. i cant, but tears start to fill my eyes...how could i just leave them behind...i feel a sudden rush of love pass by me....and i know it was him making sure i made it back safe where i belong where ive always been..its that close sometimes where we cant take it all in and our mind will takes away but its not coming back, at least not the same way ...and if it does its probably gonna wander off again ...just remember to tell your loved ones just in case...im sorry this happened...i will love you no matter what...but please remeber me the way i was before, not this way when my mind decided to give up. ..i will hate myself for this forever for doing this to all of you..but its not giving me a choice it happens so fast and if i cant come back..dont feel bad..its not your fault i couldnt fight back...i will struggle till the end....just know i love you all and eventually i will return back to you again
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