Merov's Ghost and Other Shots Across My Bow
Merov’s Ghost (1) and Other Shots Across My Bow!
In mid-November of Fourteen, I published my first web verse here, (2)
the earliest spanned sixty years, composed for Senior English class
one night in Nineteen Sixty-One. Assigned just ‘one,’ I turned out ‘four,’
and brought quartet to school. I kept my (best?) and gave the rest to friends
afraid to try, who tried and failed? Who knows! New love for poetry!
In early college, wrote some more, but few, I think; these lost to time
till post a Peace Corps stint (where homeward bound from Africa), I wrote
a poem, “Venice!” (3) and felt lightning strike my soul! Electrified,
I took my muse to heart and mused on what a poem holds in store.
*
Some early rhymes touched gold for me, “Agnostic” made me smile and more
(ambiguous but tightly wound!) “Black Bodies,” more diversified
with trope of Physics, sounded love that few expect to find. My vote (4)
for Richard Wilbur watched me imitate his form, his style, and rhyme.
“For Love of ____” turned upside down his world’s less timely remedy,
my Grad School classmates left aghast (perhaps constrained by tight rope ends.)
For Science ‘tricked out’ fantasies had called my name, “Go, Bri! Explore!”
I left Grad School (soon Physics too); book learning seemed ‘untoward morass.’
I’m grateful though; books color space! Experience? My choice was clear!
*
The US Peace Corps paved my path like nothing that I’d dreamed or planned,
beginner’s shyness faded as Malay, Swahili drowned my angst
I might not float, find words or strokes that I would need for distant goals.
Adventures of these Peace Corp’s years would help to ease the prejudice
of state of birth (no ‘blacks’ allowed in my hometown past 6 pm). (5)
Amazed now how small minds seek worth, our churches seem to share this fault
and think that tearing others down, condemning sin, helps make them ‘Right!’
Let me thank God for ‘Just Chagrin,’ for wounded pride (that hates what’s fair),
for ‘friends’ who criticize an err they think they see (yet trust my love)!
*
Like Merov, now I swear I’ve ‘friends’ (if I don’t wear a velvet glove),
who hate I hate some things Trump does! But they provoke me to despair
with praise. He’s “Christ reborn,” “Right hand of God,” King Arthur’s knight?
Did Christ attack state’s right to tax, claim right to kill you, truth assault?
Did you see Christ surround himself with self-abasing toads at whim?
I find it hard to fault the Kraut’s goose-stepping waltz toward cowardice
the ‘Right’ calls faith, ‘noblesse oblige,’ (Republican’s new word for trolls?)
But I’d not kill trolls! My truth’s ‘Truth?’ Does God think so? ‘Right’ seems more vexed!
Will they kill me? Let’s let God Judge if judgment serves! What I’d demand! (6)
Brian Johnston
20th of September in 2020
Poet’s Notes:
1 Merov Tachgovirian published poems on “PoemHunter.com” as well; he was an early ‘friend’ (when I first joined PH), but was that his real name? As I grew acquainted with PoemHunter, my site and poems were much more popular than today (perhaps because I spent a lot more time on comments than today. I soon grokked that some encouragement from others on PH is less than sincere.
Unfortunately, being ranked on PH can be more a measure of one’s social skills than the quality of one’s poetry, and I decided early not to play that game. And yet, on occasion, there are a few kind reviews posted to my poems that seem both substantial and sincere! While friends are great, I value most highly the people who leave comments on my poems without soliciting my reciprocation. They demonstrate the meaning of love!
Merov suggested he was on the staff at PoemHunter.com and could make me the top poet on the site for a few favors. I never found out what these favors were (or if he was really on staff), but I did rise to PH’s top ten in my first year. I soon figured out that if you wish to do so, you can join PH multiple times (using a new email address each time) and give your poems as many 10.0 scores (or give a verse you don’t like as many 1.0 scores) as you want. You can attract others to your site with flattering comments and ratings. All of these PH flaws still exist today! But the more prominent troll (who was sabotaging other’s ratings on PoemHunter.com) seems to have tired of it. Some web sites, like “PoetrySoup.com,” have dropped ratings and only allow comments. Perhaps, to drop features that encourage harmful behavior is a better solution.
There is no easy way to stop trolls who attack ratings because PH allows them to be anonymous! I came to suspect Merov for many reasons but without proof. As a professional software engineer, I suggested several ways to PH that might quickly fix or mitigate this problem! But all my suggestions have been ignored! On Sept 14, 2020, for example, I had almost 1,700 visits to my PH site. But only 34 poems were read that day (one time apiece). Events like this frequently happen (about once a month!) I wonder, at times, if this is Merov saying, “Hi!” If so, “Hi Merov! I still wish you well (if this is you!)”
2 The ‘here’ I am referring to here is PoemHunter.com. I say this because I post my poetry on several websites.
3 This poem and one other, “Californian Montage,” were recognized in a state poetry contest in consecutive years!
4 In a graduate poetry class (at the University of Oklahoma) that I took while working on my master’s in physics, one assignment was to write a poem in a favorite poet’s style. I mean for my poem’s title to be read “For Love of ‘Blank!’ The title of Richard Wilbur’s poem (whose form I imitated) is “Love Calls Us to the Things of This World.” I had the great fortune to attend a ‘Poetry Event’ at the University of Oklahoma, where Richard read his poetry while I was a student!
5 Woodward, Oklahoma, where I grew up, was known as a “sun-down” town in the South.
6 I trust God’s Grace and His Judgment on everyone I love. I do not fear God at all! I hope, dear reader, you’ve grown to feel the same way!
|