Love Poem: Marital Bliss
Randy Freie Avatar
Written by: Randy Freie

Marital Bliss

Once upon a time, a Bedeviled Bachelor,
fell in love with a Sinister Spinster.
It seemed to be a match made in Heaven,
until the day all Hell broke loose.

It started when the Bachelor's Brother,
laid eyes on the Sinister Spinster's Sister.
It occured at Bachelor and Spinster's wedding.
Brother was best man, Sister was maid of honor.

Bachelor and Spinster was completely unaware
that this wasn't the first time the two had met.
On the contrary, they had met years ago;
And totally despised one another.

The irony was, it too was at a wedding.
This time, Brother was best man to Best Friend,
Sister was maid of honor to College Roommate.
The two hooked up after way too many drinks.

Needless to say, the encounter was disastrous.
He passed out while on top of her small frame,
then proceeded to hurl all over the bed
while she was pinned helplessly underneath.

It made a mess of her beautiful gown,
not to mention the damage it did to her hairdo.
The poor girl was trapped like a rat for hours,
because she couldn't pry his 250 lbs. off of her.

When she was finally able to wriggle free,
she commenced to kicking the living daylights out of him.
He came to with this wild Hellcat screaming maniacally,
and pummeling him black and blue. He retaliated.

So, the moment they saw each other again;
after their last unforgettable encounter,
the fight began just like it ended before...full tilt!
Bachelor and Spinster intervened immediately.

Unfortunately, they got caught up in the melee too.
Bachelor pulled Sister off of Brother,
Spinster pulled Brother off of Sister.
Sister kneed Bachelor, Brother decked Spinster!

When it was finally laid to rest...
Spinster blamed Bachelor for Brother,
Bachelor blamed Spinster for Sister.
It ended the relationship and wedding.

Five years later, the Bedeviled Bachelor
was still a practicing Bachelor.
And the Sinister Spinster, well she decided...
Men suck and married her Sister's Girlfriend.