Long Held Lame Devotion
Take me where the ocean rolls
bigger than the pain in my soul.
Let me lay upon shore sand,
hold its grit in my hand
as it claims ground again,
so sure of where it belongs
to begin its own fated end.
Allow ships on a far horizon
remind me how small I am
and how little I understand.
My pain seems so very grand
yet it and my heart bearing it
will be gone long before this sand,
so small, so mere in tiny bits,
but more earthly significant than
any of me I have to give.
I have no distinct pain,
all I hurt once ached another name
that millions could easily claim.
I do not want to love him anymore.
I do not want care blood in my core.
I want to fling this ugly feel thing
fate determined it must bring
to be my first empathy cling.
God, let me tuck it inside a shell,
please allow it to only there dwell.
I promise I will sail the shell
by my own hand into the ocean.
There it will free my stored hell
in salty endless freedom motion
instead of salty tears of lame devotion.
... CayCay Jennings
February 11, 2018
|