Let Me Count Thy Faults
How do I love thee? Let me count thy faults.
Many to list, many to count, many more to say,
Things to fix, things to change, oh!
I should have told you all this yesterday.
Your nose is long, your ears are longer,
Your eyes like glassy golf balls slick with slime.
Your hair is tangled, your coat looks ruffled,
Fido, get out of here, you’re wasting my time!
Oh honey, dear, that wasn’t to you!
I was only talking to the dog!
But its true, your eyebrows are thick,
Your cheeks bulge like a frog.
You want this, you want that,
Oh, must I buy you that new blouse?
Your jeans are crinkled, socks are wrinkled,
But, of course, you don’t look lousy!
Your teeth are crooked, your hands are knarled,
Your pimples clustered and grouped.
Surely you must offer me more
Than the hag standing before me so stooped.
But darling, dear, I love you so,
I’ll buy you all you want!
For love is all I need to have
To shield my eyes from all your faults.
Inspired by Elizabeth Barret Browning's Sonnet 43
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