Love Poem: Kelp's Interveiw With the Bigsky
Allan Terry Avatar
Written by: Allan Terry

Kelp's Interveiw With the Bigsky

"LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING 
mR. MICROPHONE MAN!
I'M THE BEST THING TO COME ALONG
SINCE THE FULL NELSON
I AM THE BEST THING
TO COME ALONG SINCE
WRESTLING BOOTS
YOU PEOPLE NEED TO RECOGNIZE
CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL WHEN YOU SE IT.
THE CHAMPIONSHIP COMMITY WHATS TO FILL SEATS
I FILL SEATS SOMETIME
THAT IDOITS IN THE CHEAPSEATS
GET'S THE CHEERS STARTED
AND THE BUMPLING FOOLS IN THE FRONT ROW
STAND IN AWE OF ME
THEY KNOW I'M THE BEST
THEY BOO AND CHEER ME
BECAUSE I AM THE BEST
THE JERK'S ON THE COMMITY NEED TO RECOGNIZE
WHAT'S RIGHTS FOR ME IS RIGHT
FOR WRESTLING
AND THATS AINT FOOLS GOLD
THA'S THE REAL THING MR. MICROPHONE STAND
(PAUSING)
WHAAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE?
TELL YOU WHAT IT IS... I OOZE GREATNESS
IT BECOMES ME
THAT TINGLE YOUR HAVING IS CAUSE YOU'RE
FACE TO FACE WITH
SOMETHING SPECAIL.
THAT KETTLER IS GONNA REALIZE WHY THEY PAY ME THE BIG BUCKS,
AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP COMMITY
WILL COME KNOCKING ON MY DOOR
I'M GONNA ANWSER
AND WHEN I DO:
I'M GONNA TELL EM.
THE FIRST ONE IN GET'S OFF HIS KNEES LAST
AND THAT YOU CAN TELL YOUR MOMA!"