Just a Thought
Always around
slightly small mostly black
think of my kids
that's what holds me back
cracks in my heart
such a delicate shell
tears fill my eyes
my eyes start to swell
try to be a new me
no drugs no liquor
now my eyes open wide
more reasons to pull the trigger
thought it was real
did you mean what you said
starting to see the truth
make the target my head
holding back so much pain
but still some leaks out
no one to talk to
feel better with cold metal in my mouth
no peace in my soul
it will not rest
another thought comes to mind
aim straight for my chest
even then I cry
thinking of taking a last breath
seriously thinking without me
would the children be best
feeling like a criminal
I've committed no theft
here is a person that's broken
I have nothing left
I'll walk away now
before I do something stupid
stop leaving it around
one day I might use it
no, no.... I can't
gotta remember my babies
this is a silent prayer I'm tormented
God please save me
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