I Wonder
I wonder how your touch would make me feel now
Its warmth, which comforted me once,
Would probably burn me
I'll turn away from it
As if it were a viper
Wanting to harm me!
I wonder how your eyes would seem to me now
Their tender gaze would probably make me want to cry
So much that I'll stay away from you
Fearing you as if you were pestilence
Telling myself that someday, somehow,
I'll amass enough strength in me
As to be unmoved and unshaken by you!
I wonder at how life would seem to me now
I had found meaning and purpose in you
But now,
I only feel like renouncing it
Seeing it as a mere medium through which I
Accidentally fell and which has me trapped in its web!
I wonder how the Heavens would seem to me now
They were that which I looked up to
When the harshness of Earth pricked me
Promised they had been, to me,
If i would meet certain conditions of the Gods!
But now,
They seem empty, as empty as ghost towns are
Or as empty as sunken ships are!
I wonder at everything that has happened to me
Still I choose to hold my belief in my faith firm
Pray, life pricks and its madness
Is potent enough as to render everyone in its midst
Mad as well!
I wonder if my prayers would be answered
If the Gods would listen to me
And would take me away, far away from this world
Which only gave me laments in return for having
Dared taken birth in its womb!
Pray, I sit and wonder in the silence of winter
As its winds chill my bones
Causing my separation from the Gods to hurt
To such an extent that living feels like an agony!
|