Love Poem: I Loathed That Saint Bernard
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Written by: Randy Johnson

I Loathed That Saint Bernard

(This is a true story)

I love dogs but there was one dog that I hated.
When she died in 1985, I celebrated.
That stinking dog roamed the neighborhood and killed people's animals.
The lousy owner was the one who was responsible.
That witch wouldn't keep her dog tied or put a fence in her yard.
A lot of people suffered because of her Saint Bernard.
We took the owner to court but the judge said there was nothing he could do.
What the hell is this country coming to?
That dog killed my dog and my cat.
She killed a lot of other people's animals too and they didn't deserve that.
That dog and the owner really made me mad.
When that Saint Bernard died, I certainly was glad.