I Hope It Dies
The thought of me that came into your mind,
It grew;
It blossomed;
You thwarted it;
Hopefully you are letting it wilt and die.
I do not want to ignite old flames.
I want to believe your words were true;
After all you said them,
But my mind acts as if it has a mind of its own.
It's been months but still it will not hear the end of it.
These feelings are beginning to feel disgusting;
I hope they die.
I tell myself I need space;
Space away from you;
Honey believe me, I only believe that for a while;
Then I begin to look for you;
The you I know I will never find.
I get glad when you don't show;
When you neither call nor text;
Because if you as so much turn your head I fear I might clutch onto you;
So I hope this dies.
Then I dream of you;
You are just next to me;
You talk a lot but it feels like silence;
I smile at you;
You peak at me once or thrice,
I am reminded of our old days;
When you used to care.
I feel comforted at the same time I feel sadness
Is this what it means to be delusional?
I hope it dies
I know I love you;
I know I miss you;
I know I yearn for you;
I know I search for you;
But I can no longer differentiate between your truths and your lies;
I know my truth but I don't know what to do with it;
So I hope it all dies
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