I Have To Put You Away Again
I have to put you away again
My Dear and Special Friend
Deep inside of my folly, a
Pleasure having you visit
My Irish melancholia
You’re here, I am not sure why
I think it’s not locking up
These months you stopped by
The loss of my mother
While things pour from my rocking cup
Out you spilled in the end
Like mom’s love and my dead friend
Things I walled inside
Buried by sadness or pride
Came calling once again
I pulled your cards and letters
Yes, Honey, I kept them all
I pulled out my unsent writings
Words you never saw
And remembered their tidings
It has been good not bad
Recalling what we had
I’d forgotten that youthful world
I’d forgotten my precious girl
I know it wasn’t always sad
You were so kind to me
You had a generous bent
You are harsh when you vent
And said things that still sting
But your apologies were meant
I have to put you away again
And I am sad to see you go
But not like back then
This departure does not hurt
Bittersweet because I know
How important you are to my life
Really you’ll never know
I probably wouldn’t be me
If it wasn’t for the lessons
That you showed
I have learned actions matter
I have learned to catch the signs
That fly by over my head
And to know them as tread
For gripping love in the mind
I missed those with you, Sweetie
Not out of meanness, or upset
Just inexperience
Just youth and being needy
I wasn’t ready yet
Maybe a lesson you can
Learn from this silly man
No tests, no false criterium
No dates for write-off delirium
Love might not be on plan
And maybe you learned too
You are worth pretty I love you’s
And hundreds of sonnets heard
Just being mere words
Doesn’t make them untrue
Oh, my old Friend, we were
So fiery, so fast, burning forests inside
Earthquakes shake me even old
Everything put aside
Everything put on hold
And to your words about our destiny
I reacted poorly and too much
I pressed a girl of nineteen
With words of matrimony
I think she felt Pan’s dread touch
I also want to say it right
For the bad I did, or lied
And said I did, I won’t exorcise,
Until you say it’s alright,
My guilt for causing your cries
My biggest fear of all
Is that one of us will fall
And shuffle to the next world
With you thinking I never cared
About you and what we shared
But I have to put you away again
It has become a distraction
It affects my work, my wife, me too
You still inspire overreaction
Even when you, had nothing to do
With my mental infraction
But somehow you are now a joy
Not a pain to avoid
Not a guilt to forget
I am glad you have come by and set
A spell with your old sweet boy
Thanks so much for playing
With me in my mind’s sight
Thank you for a while staying
Inspiring things I write
That then I should’ve been saying
I hope you come back
My Friend, to stay again
Deep in and out of me
I will come stack
And be happy to see
All our memories
After I put you away again
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