I Ain'T a Game To Play With - Chapter 2 - Loyalty Mends My Broken Heart
- Written August 11, 2018
I lay down in silent agony, left unsure,
Drowning in distress, yet happiness will be a stone, rolling back on me in an instant or in a moment…anxiety heightened
You are chopped onions in my eyes…
You shed over a million lies, cries, byes….
Tired of trying to bite the bullet
Independence is screwed over, buried under, a mighty blur – I am!
I’m so unsure and jaded by this jam of who-am-I?-oh-damn…
Stiffening my upper lip of regret
I broke the rules of English grammar,
Regretless like a worthless murmur
In the wind of a shadows, thrown in the far corner…
You go left and I go right – why? Did you mean to injure?
I think so,
I’m sure though
What the hell were you thinking?
I BREAK, FREAKAZOID…
For my sake, please avoid
You took advantaged of me, now I’m sinking…
My bipolar monsoon inside out…
It is hopes beneath the doubt…
I wonder why you wander around my thoughts that keep on stinking…
I will gladden my misery
Heartbroken wholeheartedly…
I ain’t a game to play around with (can’t help, but worry and overthink…that’s just one of my things, I think, keeps me thinking)
Can’t fix me with your fool-proof tool
I am broken, only God can mend me, bull,
You don’t need me or even want me…
So don’t come back unless you change…
Eventually, you will hopefully…possibly…
Till then, time to move on and rearrange…
Even if you change, you lost someone special
You didn’t play me the fool, don’t play it cool..
You burned me to the ashes in your wildfire of your conceited empire these days
You microwaved the popcorn of my pain-staking helplessness, you mindless liar at work –
You think I’m the fanciful, plentiful meal to serve to Kings and Queens?
There are blemished scars to mend
Well, I don’t think so, not anymore –
Royally longing for this ache to end…
You were the one that I did adore…
Until you broke my heart in two…I am junk food, mistaken for greens
You behaved irrationally around me and talked behind my back, you back-stabbing jerk…
I want to cuss and fuss, but my voice will not fully be heard, but I’ll say it anyways:
I’ve been so damn loyal (a gift, not a curse)
You – a cheater that’s awful! (could say worse)
I’m stronger than I realize,
I’m not alone
And I am not a failure…
That’s not all…
I will not fall…
I will stand tall…
Through it all…
And get on the ball…
Though I bang my fists against the wall…
Don’t bother to give me a call,
For..I…am in appall…
Your loss,
My win
You gain a snoozer-loser applause…
I’m a winner with champion balls…
My win
Your loss
Quit quilting your many guilt trips
You don’t have the carriage before the bewildered horse
You have kissed corruption's lips
This all will take more than apologies to mend, of course
****dedicated to love relationships that don’t work out in the long run due to lust and distrust – always have trust with loyal individuals, that’s definitely a must****
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