Heartbreak On a Boulder of Pain
I
RELAPSE
Waiting for she who will bring me my heart
I lay on my sofa
Arms outstretched
Reaching for my heart far astride.
I try hard sweeping a cursory look round my enclave
My neck stiff; life is full of pain.
My eyes clueless, what I see
The cobwebs and the dust of yesterday’s misery
My teeth frosty in the silhouette
A life is at stake.
A heart is meant to be soft, subtle
But when I feel my chest, all I feel is a stone,
A large formless stone
Every feel, every sense, every thought
Seems worthless, meaningless
For my heart has been sucked dry
Off the last vestiges of emotions
The window blinds high up,
Stealing momentary flashes at the world that lies
Beyond the windows,
What I see is a cruel world, a world full of scavengers
A world of greed and avarice
I pull at my ears, I feel nothing
It seems I have lost touch with sound,
All I feel, all I hear, all I see is silence.
Am I alive?
I keep asking myself
But within these same walls I smiled, I laughed, I danced
And she sat on this same sofa with me
We even drank from the same glass of wine
What must have gone wrong?
Life is full of changes
That I know, but I never envisaged this type of change.
II
RECOVERY
My eyes up, focused on the ceiling
Then some words begin to form…
With my lipless mouth, I form out the words
“Hope is what keeps you going even when all hope is lost,
So never you lose hope on hope, hope will one day take you to
The place of your dreams”
…from a distance I hear the chirping of the birds and
The sounds of a tom tom singing the song of a new day.
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