For Mom
S he saved us all from a life of mediocrity.
silly smart beautiful barefoot dancer in the flower bed
Nurturing to everyone
leaving the least for herself
She was my best friend, but we were hell at parties
I remember her in a paper dress
that was a picture of a cat
some hippie outfit, with a smile
half way out of our house on wheels
Yoga dancing every day doing something for the sun
meeting each and every face of God
more often with the passing years she would
drink a disillusioned toast to lost chances and opportunities
as the medicine cabinet grew in color and content
Taking the brunt of our losses for herself
with inner mingled heaven sent victories and joys
One day she arose yellow as the sun and swelling
she took it lightly as a drop of rain
with one liners we'll never forget
"So much for retiring in Mexico."
she would quip with a nervous laugh
It was the pancreas some say the very worst place
but there's a point where pain is pain
inseparable from itself
I tried to make it home in time to say "goodbye"
I missed her by four hundred miles,
I'll put that in my box of guilt and hide it somewhere
out of sight for now.
She didn't go easy, I didn't bother asking God
why he would let her go that way,
thrashing holding on to life, maybe hoping against
that four hundred mile gap that I put on a mantle
behind a broken vase
She was my best friend but we were hell at parties.
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