First Love
First Love
I tried to sense your coming
the time and moment you would pass.
All day I pondered words to use
actions, sighs, and movements embracing you,
as you come,
I am silent, look away, eyes downcast.
I sought you in quiet moments, still rooms,
places and familiar corridors we knew.
Yet when you pass, you hurry as you usually do
with impatience and blind ignorance.
I hoped you felt the same,
the way I do.
I dreamt of you continually, at night and in the day
but night empties into mornings dawn.
The evening mist, once full of gentleness
reminded me of the you I loved and knew
but I am still alone and waiting,
now, too long.
I was just a child then, not a woman
full of fantasy and dreaming.
I had dreams of being yours and yours alone,
I was foolish and wrong.
I’m older now, mature and not loving you
and lying all the more.
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