Fear and Drunkiness
“We scream and shout like it’s a war, you punch, and I kick, both spitting blood into the sink” “I look into the mirror, not recognizing myself, can’t remember when this began, I’d rather end it all, than be without you, I’m already dead”
“We shout and fight, another drunken Friday night, you run down the street screaming until 3, still going over it at 5, at 7 you claim you will always love me” “I know what I discover, you’ve been with so many others, what else can I do? I have to forget and forgive, because without you, I can’t live”
Better off to start this party by myself and block you out, 1 drink, 2, 3, 4 then 5, then more till one more bottle is gone, to forget everything going around, this circus we live inside, who knows how much longer we’ll survive this, I can’t be with you and I can’t be apart, evidence of your infidelity is tearing me apart.
I look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself, what made it OK for me to put up with this hell, you have your hands around my neck when you kiss me, bite my tongue, when you shut me out, but when others appear you change your gears, I see her looking at you that certain way, inside I feel betrayed, lock myself away, so I don’t have to see it for myself, can’t I just be enough for you, obviously that’s not true.
Now every thought enters my mind, cutting myself off from the truth behind the minds lie, I wanted to believe in you and me, but I am nothing without you, I can never be free, everything reminds me of you, hating myself, I’m lost I don’t know where I belong, we are something real, nothing that we could fake, I’m your Amy, you’re my Blake.
Starting to lose what kept us together, there’s no such thing as eternal and forever, I need more from you than now more than ever, can’t you see, what this shit is doing to me.
Slipping under, skin cut open to take away the pain, closed doors and staring into glass to try and hide the shame, locked the door, as I’m locking you out, if I can’t see it, hear it, I don’t have to face it, breaking up inside, so I smile and fake it, you are going to be the end of me, it’s killing me inside and taking up my life, time to say goodbye.
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