God I try Hear me cry as I testify: Why, you may ask did I let him place his hand on my thigh? Because he makes me so High And he makes my earth touch the sky Oh how can I lie? but how can I lay? In this midnight hour’s day He needs me and I’m wishing I could stay but I need You This matter is on my mind, but my mind doesn’t matter I battle my thoughts, my body’s distraught I want my say But I need YOUR way Deliver me Lord In Jesus’ name! I lift my hands to pray Ohh this pain lasts another day Taking pain killers But the devil is a liar And as I reach higher He continues to be my killer And Still I Still I….. Still I stand, in this stand still Desire yearning Fire burning Cognition turning Am I really learning? Entrapped, I’m Slapped by My Time trap Running around in a maze Simplicity perplexed by enigma Scorched by this stigma Seeing unclear as I walk through this haze My thoughts rape my soul This Love hates self-control Although there is no love that’s greater I remain a stubborn debater Wanting the gratitude of right Now and not Later But Lord you ARE my savior And I know that you can heal me through prayer Help me bleed Wounds are what I need to succeed Although I suffocate It’s not too late for breath Lord Give me life, I’m not ready yet, It’s too late for death So why do I want to die? I know that sin kills me, But why don’t I want to try? Father you are my guide And I’ve already been tried, Going through trials and tribulation Walking long miles in humiliation But when you judge me I pray that there Is no long deliberation Although I walk wilfully I am not worthy and I admit I feel filthy But in my hour of judgment I beg you, please find me “not guilty” And as I sink in the depths of sin, I ask you to deliver me again Freeing me from this evil within Amen and Amen.