Love Poem: exquisite anguish -

exquisite anguish -

       ~ the sad sea greets me, ebb and flow ~

why do I fancy heartache so?
      it isn't pleasant, sweet or fun
         it carries not, a buoyed charm
          no sullied mirth to e'er disarm
         assigns no blessing when it's done
      still I contend to leave it go
(and feign aversion, lest it show)

         perhaps I've reached my own accord
   accepting as the status-quo
 this melancholy gag reflex
to all that dimmer deeds can vex
 and while the urge still pushes so
   it's shadows that I'm pushing toward
         salvation's scabbard, short a sword

perchance love's residue still stains
      when love is lost, the breathing soul
         seeks refuge in a heavy heart
          to savor grief with joy apart
         losing that which made it whole
      instills the worth of passion's pains
left to embracing what remains

         I doubt I'll come to understand
   why now-and-then a heart can break
 yet prove to flood you, bittersweet
with joy and sorrow mixed, replete
 such sad delight, this blessed ache
   left with what our hearts remand
         true love sifting through our hand

       ~ I scratch "I miss you" in the sand ~