Love Poem: Ego, Games, and Misunderstanding
Audonus Taylor Avatar
Written by: Audonus Taylor

Ego, Games, and Misunderstanding

Ego Games, and Misunderstanding.
(The Death of A Friendship.)

Abandon ship and run away...
Abandon this and come away... 
Clean. Unscathed, or so you choose 
to perceive.
But believe, with knowledge of your 
history, 
one question rises in priority:
When has quick dash masked the 
backlash
that running has on your character?
For tired feet make for strong lungs,
but increased breath shall continue 
to
make for longer screams when you 
wake
and see your past self in the mirror 
again.

So vain from the stains of your past
You disregard the depth of the glass
and see only that you do not want 
the beverage.

"A beverage you still choose to 
assume is truly being offered when I 
know how badly it affects you."

So quick to believe that all I think 
about me
And would want you for myself 
rather than
help you break free of your ghosts:
The memories that haunt you the 
most.
So, you run when you think love is 
the liquid served
And point verbal guns at me because 
I deserve it, right?
I deserved this?

Though my methods were 
unconventional
the progress was all intentional
Because you spoke before choosing 
your exit.
It was electric for me to witness you 
grow.
So, I applied more pressure just to 
help
you get better, but you began to 
believe
I truly wanted "us" together...
Still, that is not true...
All I cared about was you learning to 
deal
with the real that everybody goes 
through.
And yes, I really thought that this 
was best
Exploiting demons of your mind to 
prove
the fight within your chest...
But all you could see was my face
as a guy trying to trap you back in 
the same place.
So, you cut me down then shut me 
out.

But my plan, was more tough love 
than foolproof
I believed your mind would never let 
me fool you
My stand was that to emotionally 
bully you
would leave you seeing that your 
being is
nothing less than bulletproof!...

"But this is not me helping you, 
right?
This is not me caring for your best 
interest, right?
No, this is just another ploy from my 
ego.
Despite my true intentions, all you 
choose
to see in my ego.
According to you, that is all I care 
for."

But all you saw was the lines said
And could not read between the lines 
read.
You grew stronger every day
Then chose to run away
The tragic end is our friendship 
is what I find dead.
Instead of the old you...

Still, I do not point all the blame
I knew the pain behind your name
And still chose to play a game...
But it was working!...
You began to deal with your past 
through me.
Which soothed me and helped you 
beyond
whatever you see.
Or thought you understood.
But my intentions were good
I just pushed you harder faster
than I realize I should...
But you were truly so amazing
Fighting past demons, bravely
I got excited by the progress
I grew used to seeing daily...

And I wanted you change
Because you wanted to change.
You spoke about yourself
so badly that it drove me insane,
as your true friend...

So, I pushed too hard
Though I pushed you far,
I pushed much too hard...
And I regret that...

But only that and nothing else
Because I believe that strength
comes from what people have left
And though I have to accept
that to my voice you've gone deaf...

"I was NEVER in love with anything
but hoping YOU would LEARN to 
LOVE YOURSELF..."