Divergence From Yuliya
Now it ends as it began
At night on a plane, high over unfamiliar ground
(On which we would both be more comfortable) .
Our moods seem different, and though our arcs
Will coincide for a few hours yet,
We each nurture a private grief, a private joy.
There have been times when being with you was difficult,
I had hopes and dreams of being with you
That did not come completely together,
Like your embarrassment at my feelings for you,
Like mine to learn your pictures weren't for me alone.
Yet, even so, I have loved being your friend,
Have never wished that you had not come,
Though it hurts to hear you do not love me 'that way.'
At times I wish that life could be simpler,
That I could call God on the phone and say
'Is this really what You want to happen here?
Did I close my heart to Your guidance?
Did I not love Yuliya as You wished me to? '
And what of your dreams?
Your American adventure almost ended,
You return to family and friends a different person
For you have touched a dream and made it real.
I wonder if they will recognize you?
I just hope you will remember
That touching dreams is possible!
You have already done it once.
I believe that you can do it again,
For I know the joy that helping you brought me,
Perhaps this remains your real source of power.
Brian Johnston
For Yuliya Verbitskaya 1990
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