Love Poem: Distress
Bilal Hb Avatar
Written by: Bilal Hb

Distress

I may not be
The highest mountain
The deepest ocean
The most desired emotion
Or the youthful fountain
But I expected more than this decree

I see you walk off from me
Ignore me completely
As soon as you no longer need me
As you go out and earn your degree
Carry on with your life
Live as somebody else's wife
Leaving me in this eternal strife
But I expected more than this decree

I expected better than this
Yes, I know, yes I've been told
My face is not like Aphrodite
My strength is not like Zeus so mighty
My confidence not like Prometheus
My status no where near the God of all
But I expected more than this decree

And as I see the others enjoy their lives
Carry on with their struggles
Overcome their quarrels
Love, and live happily, sadly, angrily and passionately

My state remains minimal and static
Nothing to make me ecstatic
Not since you left me traumatic
I can at least say I am charismatic
Fanatically dramatically in touch and automatically
Systematically intelligent
As the power of the cosmos dwells within me
And I have been given a gift that none others can see
I had hoped that you saw this gift visually
But after you've done away with what you pleased
Thank you, good bye, and run off with another hairless monkey and be forever breezed
From my life, death, solitude and resurrection

I was once told to find a quality
A melody
Something within me
An aspect that sets me apart from all that is worldly
If one doesn't see it, move on a tread lightly
Happily and sustainably
And if one sees that quality
Then it is she who you truly seek
Grasp that opportunity and never let it go
I thought that opportunity was you, just so you know

So here I am, wallowing away
Swallowing and following as the seasons continuously change
Cycle, going round and round
Wrinkles grow on my face
Nothing moves in time and space
Until we meet our indifferent graves
Will I forever be trapped this way?
In a state of darkness, with no companion to guide or hold me
A state where my friends are an illusion trying to misguide
In an eternal facade of an empathy

Or will I find ecstasy
Someone who sees the ocean of light inside me
One who understands my ability
And constantly thinks and watches for me
Why can't it be?

But I guess I am expecting more than what's realistic
Human desires are guided only by biology, not reason
Reason is a facade and rationality is a fraud
Ironic, that love is the only emotion that can shake the ground beneath us
And yet, I regress, it is guided only by distress