Distance Between Father and Son
I wish dad had been more affectionate
like other fathers who made their sons proud,
guided them through life's long phases
with the same strength and certitude they had;
I looked at him and saw austerity on his face,
not expressing love for a timid child with a voice without wit.
And the unspoken word created a distance between father and son,
pulling me further and further from him until I felt numb and vain...
I couldn't say to him what my dream was, or what I tried to achieve;
and rambling from place to place, I became that rolling stone
kicked by all on a busy road and lying in mud after a hard rain...
I wept in silent rage, he heard it often, but let me grieve!
Was it his selfish ego...not to let love show without shedding a single tear?
Should love have restrictions...not being equally shared by boys and girls?
And on every anniversary, that vision of stern father and sad boy returns...
I loved dad and he knew why I hated the way he kept his affection from me,
and instead of getting a hug today, I write an elegy for his tomb under a pine tree;
o father, I wanted to embrace you and honor you by breaking that barrier of fear!
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