Disparate Love
A professor of difficult sums
Who led a simple and useful life
Till he met Big Bertha from Beverley
And took her to be his wife.
It was a convention of difficult sums
On the logistics of long haul
Followed by a civic dinner
Down the road in Hull Guildhall.
The cabaret was wresting
Big Bertha the main bout
And she and the Professor met
When her opponent threw her out
To land on him four square, sending
Him consciouslessness to the floor.
He awoke in her arms and
Fell in love with what he saw,
A fine figure of a woman
In puce and purple leotard
The emotion was also mutual
As she fell for him equally hard.
Now he's the second in her corner
And she's champion of the North West
And he works at difficult sums
Two hours a week at best.
Theyve been on the TV
And there’s talk of the silver screen
And Big Bertha and her professor
Recognised wherever they're seen.
They've had butties at the palace
Cos Camilla’s a wrestling fan
Fascinated by the story of how
Big Bertha got her man.
It's the wrestling code she said
Of that there's little doubt
Three falls, two submissions
Or a single knockout.
Now they live a life of pleasure
Taking everything as it comes
And just to keep his hand in
He's teaching her difficult sums.
Between rounds shes in her corner
A look of ecstasy on her face
Contemplating quadratic equations
On the nature of time and space.
A professor of difficult sums
Who led a simple and useful life
Till he met Big Bertha from Beverley
And took her to be his wife.
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