Depending On How We Fell
I think there are universes scattered across time,
where you have pink hair and I have green eyes,
and we live together, and we don’t like grapes.
Star crossed universes where what you and I had
never turned into something not worth having anymore.
I think of that one variable too much,
the one where the day arrived and so did your doubt,
once was enough, and we turned into a smile, polite,
a nod, a heartbreak on the street while passing by.
And I can’t stop thinking about it,
I drive myself crazy thinking about it,
how did I manage to land here of all pages,
and not in a different place at a different pace?
or any other one as long as you were there.
Do you look at the dreams I forgot to take with me?
or do you think I’m trying so incredibly hard
to break through the lovesick state you left me in?
In my head you think back, and then you know,
(in my head you always know
like a magician of sorts
like someone who listens
like someone who gets haunted and chased
by how much of me they can’t erase)
I’ll look at the portrait I made of you,
like all things that I can’t always keep close
I will keep remembering you.
You double sided dream wrecker,
shine and smile, willing to keep me on a locket,
but later decide my picture doesn’t fit any longer.
Be dramatic too, drink some tea during a storm,
and wish I didn't have to leave you alone,
wish that you didn’t break my heart,
until my only choices were to run away or to fall apart.
Listen to a song you certainly didn’t mean to put on ,
and play it high until the walls shake and nearly crumb.
(on purpose this time, and depending on how we fell)
With all you’ve got, wish you had stayed,
I know you’ll let go of me eventually.
As usual my words are never more than that,
more than things that don’t come true,
I wish you will never have to, though,
I wish for you to keep every single drop of love
that I ever made you feel
(it’s all yours, so am I)
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