Dependency
Falling for a guy can be bittersweet. You meet, you talk, you laugh. Then you doubt, you cry, you get distant. But there is no reason that you know of as to why you feel this way. It all seems good, you guys seem like you're in a good place, but there is a sprinkle of doubt. You don't know what to do so you just ignore it. The more you ignore it, the more you fall for him. The more you enjoy hearing him just rambling on about his passions. It's cute to you. It's the first guy that you feel that you like him not for his looks, but for his personality. One day you realize that it's not as good as when you first started talking to him. You don't laugh as much anymore. You don't have late night phone calls anymore but you crave them more and more every day. You feel like your day can't end without talking to him on the phone at least once every day. You cry because you don't know what to do. The worst part is that he warned you from the beginning that he doesn't want anything serious. But you think he'll change his mind. That's when it gets bad. That's when you become dependent. That's when all hell breaks loose. At least in your mind. You begin to overthink about everything. Every little thing that honestly doesn't even matter but matters because you think you did something that ruined it all. Even something so little like wanting to hang out with him. You feel like you're trying too hard, which causes you to become distant when really there is no reason to be. It's just your mind playing games with you... Or maybe it's you falling for him, hard and fast. You're scared you'll be rejected, and you know you already are since the day you met him because he told you he doesn't want a relationship. But will he at one point? That's the question you ask yourself every moment of the day. It's all you think about. You try to get your mind off of him but everything you see reminds you of him. You want him, but you know you can't have him. You're jealous when he says he's going to hang out with some girls, but you're not allowed to be because he's not yours. No, the worst part is, it's only been three weeks since you met him. And maybe you've already fallen for him, and it all goes downhill from here.
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