Love Poem: Custard
John Fenn Avatar
Written by: John Fenn

Custard

Dad was digging in the garden 
When he struck a custard well
Mum was none too happy
By her phizog you could tell

We watched the plume of custard
As it rose into the sky
Dad said “It’s bloomin’ lovely
We can have that with some pie

Mum was still unhappy
“This has ruined my best dress
You can both get out there later
And clear up this ruddy mess”

First thing in the morning
I went out, to see the hole
Scraped away the surface
And I filled a little bowl

Sitting on my haunches
In my jim jams and a vest
I took a cautious spoonful
And declared it was the best

Then later on, the press appeared
And in the garden mustered
As Dad explained how he had found
A well of perfect custard

A well known geolologist
Was hired to survey
He said our well, might just achieve
Ten thousand puds a day

So, Dad went out and bought himself 
A brand new custard pump
And put it in the shed that he
Was just about to dump

With lots and lots of effort
And a little bit of planning
We built ourselves a factory
And we started custard canning

Now mum is very happy, ‘cause
We’ve bought a house that’s bigger
Don’t know what she’ll say though
When she sees Dad’s bought a digger