Love Poem: Coming Out

Coming Out

I thought coming out would be a public thing,
But it's not so much as public as admitting the truth to be set free,
I lived in fear of love for death continuously showed it's face,
Not just through physical means, but also through rejection and pain,
Shutting down seemed peaceful and honest, letting what will be, will be....
And yet there was a discontent deep inside of me,
People are going to do what they want to do, regardless of what you say,
And "I love you" will go in one ear and out the other, no matter how much you prove it to them,
This damper of expectant love seperates the best,
It pulls our hearts in a million directions and puts us to the test,
I love because I choose to, and not because you don't love me,
But when you choose not to care, oh, you can't see the pain it brings,
That breaks my heart into a million pieces, how do I deal with the pain?,
I quietly sit, and look back at myself, and blame myself again,
Maybe if I approached things differently, maybe if I said the right thing,
All those maybes are long since gone, but the love will always remain,
I can't beat my chest any harder when I've given all i had,
Yet I have learned to forgive myself, but the loss still makes me sad,
How long can we hold onto love...when pain constantly tried to block our view,
Yet in between lines of black n white, I will forever and eternally love you.