Love Poem: Cave Man Date
Earl Schumacker Avatar
Written by: Earl Schumacker

Cave Man Date

Caveman preps for dating female mates
As he puts on fresh skins and pelts
Caught that day since everything was free
Oil from animal musk still ooze from pores
(To allure the delicate gender favors)

Killing prey is not exactly PETA friendly 
ASPCA might have something to say
Millions of years hence so not to worry

Cave men speak Ugh which is short for ugly
He is going clubbing with his handy stick
Nowhere near Fifth Avenue I'm sure 

A not so delicate creature blinks at him
Smiles from the bush with perceived approval
One bonk on the head is all it takes

He drags her by the dirty knotted hair 
Back to his cave to live forever more
As husband and wife in ancient splendor
Life was simpler back then