Before I Called
I am so lost, I need you to hold my hands.
I do not know who you are, or understand.
I know I sink in darkness and never land.
My feet don’t know the ground, so they strand.
It sure feels lonely, down below.
Although I’m high in the clouds, I fall
And all those smiles I show, they stall,
too bad I cannot run, I crawl.
So why fall in love at all?
I gave my heart, my mind and soul,
it was never enough, I truly saw.
My worth, not what I had hoped.
For I know not, how to cope.
I call upon God, he puts me on hold.
Sometimes, I listen when I am told.
sometimes I wish it wasn’t cold.
For my heart’s not made of gold.
I sinned a lot and dreamt much more.
I wish I’d known, way back before,
how much it pains to grow.
Life is just a trip outbound.
I grit my teeth and wait it out.
I did not choose or make that vow.
I’m here right now, that’s all that counts.
Beneath all the poems and laughs and words,
behind the posts, the things you’ve heard.
There’s just a boy, that’s lost and hurt.
Who dreamt too big, was left with thirst.
Who loved somebody, was never first.
I am someone, who’s tired and done.
Who tried too hard to be good,
but never saw the sun.
I waited way too long,
but didn’t see her come.
And now I am somebody,
who no longer wants to run.
You can never force love.
You can always chase dreams,
you can never change some,
who are just the way they seem.
You can hurt and cry too,
just don’t let them say else.
Sometimes the world appears cruel,
all you got is you, yourself.
Although, sometimes I wish, you’d come and hold my hands.
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