Love Poem: Backwash
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Written by: James Kelley

Backwash

I closed my mouth around the words,

felt my skeletons wash up against

the shore of a silver tongue;

Driftwood,

laying still on the bank,

charred and cracking open

inside the swallow of shameful 

Determination.

“I never wanted it to be like this,

             never thought it would go

                                         …this far" 

I watched your finger list its way 

around an empty highball glass,

its fragility reminding us both of 

the damage of throwing stones

in a house ready to shatter. 

I couldn’t look you in the eyes. 

              Couldn’t let you see

the poison forcing its way out. 

No matter, how badly I needed 

to feel anchored.

I was better off;

left to drown,

than to pull you under

the waves birthed by 

my lack of transparency. 

"I never wanted it to be like this, 

            never wanted to bring you down.” 

I couldn’t look you in the eyes;

 as the light shined through

the gleaming vessel wrenched

in your palms,

I ordered another round,

Unable to stand the spectrum 

cast, the colors of truth,

with nothing to hide.

So, I finished my beer.

Tasted the backwash cast back,

from every selfish, thoughtless

draft, and forced it down. 

The amber tint of the bottle 

reflected nothing;

As volatile and opaque as

the soul clinging to it. 

"I have to go, 

                      I’m sorry.” 

I left the money on the bar,

hoping it was enough to sate 

our demons for the night. 

-James Kelley 2014, All rights reserved