Another Teenage Outburst
Here it goes again, can't handle this
Though entirely used to it
What more relief can writing bring?
It all but drowns the rest all out
And I'm sorry I couldn't be all the things
I made you think I could
But that left space for happier times
I can no more afford
All my friends will frown on me
Pretend they understand
What is love? What is trust? What is life without them and why does it seem it is
already over?
Of course I am a drama queen
So block me out and push it back in
It festers and stinks and the stench overpowers me
Nobody is ready to listen or even try to comprehend what they do not wish to see
This girl is less than perfect
And there goes her less than perfect muse, already having forgotten her
And that's the somebody she adores
And this is her best friend
And they all fit together and
I'm not there
Nor am I here
I can't leave like this, back to the start, such an unbelievable waste
And if I fall apart again just like I tend to do
No friends
No family
Nobody to love
It would be the last time at least
But right now I'm stuck and there's no point to this planning as I won't be able to
see it through
Lying at home, crawling about, only to collapse once more
And I read your words like pins and stitches
Tightening, fraying, unable to be held together
You don't know what to do and my mind is blazing
You've never felt this way
You'd do anything for him
He made you
The Happiest I Have Ever Been
It all pours out.
Furious and sickened, this queasiness just got worse
I was a fool stupid what an idiot
You're not even thinking about me anymore
And you couldn't be more blatant
For this I hate you, something I wanted to make you believe so you'd stop caring
And like a mug you trusted me
And so forgot me
And this was all my plan and I helped it happen and I can't stand how it still isn't
any easier
Tumbled up the stairs
Clawed my welcome door tight shut
Couldn'tscreamcouldn'tsmilecouldn'tpretendnottofeel
Like every few days since I dont know when
A child of eighteen years
I curled up on the scratching carpet
And I wept.
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