Angsty Nonsense
Awoken by my internal clock,
the ground is cold and sticky.
Head is pounding,
body is dirty,
why did I sleep here?
Arch my back up slightly off the wooden floor,
shards of brown glass pop off my grey hoodie.
Better get a grip before this gets worse.
My eyes crack open.
It takes longer for the room to get into focus than usual.
For a solid five minutes the living room looked like its reflection in the Hudson River.
Is it dark?
No.
Do my guts hurt?
No.
Do I remember what happened last night?
Barely.
My first six drinks were Pabst Blue Ribbon
but I must have gotten myself into something else.
My nose hurts—
damn,
how much money do I have?
Less but not much less.
If I did cocaine I didn’t pay for it.
Check the clock,
8:35am
class is at 9:20am
better head to the bus.
I get up,
brush myself off,
toss one strap of my backpack over my shoulder
head out the blue door.
Leaving the house like this
leaves me insecure.
My body likely smells of yeasty mold,
my breath likely smells like the inside of an ancient treasure chest,
the general aura of smoke follows me as well.
Jessie stops me in the streets.
Catches me in the act of walking while recovering.
“your hair is messy,
your smell is musty,
your general aura is tired.”
Thanks
I thought to myself.
I tried to leave.
Jessie stops me.
“What do you want out of all this?”
“I want to live like this until something or someone stops me.”
“What about karma?
Don’t you think that if you keep behaving like this, it’ll hit you hard?”
“Karma is reality,
if it just proved it to me I’d be happy.”
She left with an unimpressed prolonged gaze.
but I got to class on time.
I woke up
warm
in my bed.
I like Jessie
I hope I see her today.
She’d make fun of me
and I’d laugh.
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