And Then Lovers Go Away
And then lovers go away, lost in time, endless time
with ticking clocks
and gypsy girls stealing thumping hearts
in silhouette dreams.
Crying out to be hugged, and mocked, and
those stupid people with blank faces and empty hearts
looking desperately for God, sees something wrong with me.
Nothing is wrong,
I don't have a gun,
an extension rope in my closet,
the closet doors are closed,
and Pink Floyd plays softy, timelessly in the background,
as dreams of the girl, cant get them out of my head.
Tears burst out,
my throat wanting to be cut,
but they always kill me with words,
and finger points.
Mocking laughs of friendship that eat me alive
every time I see that girl with another guy, talking about him,
loving him, dreaming about him, holding him,
loving him, loving him, LOVING HIM!!
I tears me up inside, I just want to scream!
I want my life to be left alone,
but how can I, when a therapist looks at my brain,
for a five hundred dollar session for one day out of the month.
I can face the facts that I'm heavy,
that I have a face of Andre the Giant and the Elephant Man combined,
but what can I do, and how am I suppose to feel,
when they talk of suicide, and I wasn't even thinking of pointing a loaded gun to my head.
LOST! That is what I am.
A blind man in the dark,
a lost soul swimming in a fish bowl,
a coward looking for love in all the wrong places,
but I want to feel, I need to feel that love,
the passionate love I've never felt.
My fragile heart can't take tough love and hose me down afterwards
with the Word of GOD!
I love God, I have faith in him,
but don't point your finger and say that I don't know him.
And then when Lovers go away,
to their dream houses,
lost in neverendingland,
I lose my hope for humanity,
Humanity I hate you- (I do not strongly dislike you, I HATE YOU!)
You all want to kill each other,
than blame it on me, because I sit alone in my room and smile,
you say I'm emotionally unstably,
but no I'm not, I think it is you who fell into society's little lie
you gullible liars.
When Lovers go away,
don't come looking for me,
when the gypsy girl comes along and steals your thumping heart,
because I will be long gone,
murdered by your blood stained words
and "thoughtful" ideas of how I should of lived my own life.
Tisk...Tisk...Tisk... I hope you feel good about yourselves... goodnight...
.6.8.2014.
|