Alzheimers
Raintears run down
the cabin window,
and the lights go dim
for departure.
It's twilight here
on the ground and the sun
has just set behind
the western mountains.
The plane taxies around in the rain
for its takeoff run.
In a few minutes we will be up there
in the pearlescent clouds
attempting to catch the sun
with the same success I had
catching memories the last two days.
On down the runway now,
a little hitch,
and we've left the ground,
good-bye, my mother, forever.
We fly over darkening roads,
lights just turning on,
that I had traveled earlier
in a groundling's stupor,
filled with the images of
a slow morning on the porch.
The air was cool and the sun
was warm on our faces as
we sat there,
you and I.
I knew it was the last time and
I think maybe sometimes
you knew it too.
We watched the world go by
and you tried to remember
from moment to moment
who I was.
So I made one last attempt
to grab some memories
out of the deep,
and place them
at your feet.
Shared moments, shared jokes,
shared times and places, some you fumbled,
but, for awhile you began to make connections,
and remembered and
I was ecstatic that
you were still there.
I held back my tears
so that you wouldn't see
how hard this was for me.
Yet, I could see the strain on your face
as you fought, as you always had,
to give me all your best.
I knew then, I had to let you go.
It was selfish of me
to hold you in this world,
that you would not remember
in an hour.
I sit here safe, flying into a storm.
And you down there,
head into the unknown.
My plane races into the light,
just ahead of the night.
Good-bye, my mother, forever.
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