All The Things I Hate About You
You asked, "out of everyone, why me?"
I know the answer now, maybe.
They come to me, drawn in
by the way I’ve been existing.
They compliment the things
they can see.
but none of it matters,
it never did to me.
Because I know, deep down,
they don’t really see me.
Not like the way, i let you see.
And I hate that.
I hate that no matter how many eyes are on me,
I still feel invisible to the one that matters to me.
And i hate that,
I still wish you’d reach out to me.
Just once.
I wish you’d prove you meant it
when you whispered, I love you so, so much.
When you swore this wasn’t easy for you either.
When you left behind words but no actions,
feelings but no fights.
And i hate that,
You thought this is for the best.
As if leaving didn’t hurt,
as if your silence wasn’t its own kind of violence.
And i hate that,
You believe staying away
is the right thing to do.
And maybe i could move on,
the way you told me to.
There are hands reaching for me,
voices calling my name,
new stories waiting to be written.
And i hate that, I don’t want them.
Because none of them are you.
And i hate that,
I can't rip that feeling out of me.
I can't forget how you fit into my world
before you chose to leave it lonely.
But instead, i sit in the emptiness you left behind,
lovesick for a ghost that has already died.
And i hate that, no matter what i do
I can't bring myself to hate you
Not even for the hell i felt.
And i hate that,
you're someone I can never hate.
— 30/03/2025
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