Love Poem: A Heart of Gold

A Heart of Gold

This heart of mine has
So much love to share
So why has my life 
Been full of despair

This heart of mine
So loving and giving
But alone with my pain 
I am barely living

This heart of gold
Always battered and bruised
Constantly in pain
Always abused

Eternally frightened
Alone, hurt and sad
Will my life ever
Stop being bad

My zest for life
All taken away
Never living
Just existing each day

Abuse and threats
To me always spoken
To hurt me, put me down
Leave me broken

I find it so hard
To relax and trust
Because my life always
Turns to dust

Mental abuse
Physical pain
My daily life
Again and again

My hopes and dreams
Broken and shattered
From years of hell
Being abused and battered

I need to feel loved
To get something back
No more pain or
Being under attack

People have said 
I have a heart of gold
So why am i always 
Left out in the cold?

I want to have a 
Life worth living
Not one where i
Am the only one giving

Now i have Paul
So i hope and pray
He's the one to take
All my pain away

But if ever we argue
My fear is so real
No one knows 
The terror i feel

I want to be happy
Feel safe and grow old
With him by my side
To come in from the cold

So with my guy now
I hope to be free
To live at last
Allowed to be me

I have never felt safe
From all the pain and harm
But that is improving
When I'm in his arms

He'll never understand
My hell, tears and fear
My burden of life
All of these years

With his help
I can start to live
To get some love back
For all that i give

I now want to feel
Finally accepted
For who i am
At last be respected