A Dream
Good to you, good for you, good with you… All things I’ve always dreamt of being. But also all things I never will be. You need more than this… more than me. I stare at my ceiling and wonder what it could be… what WE could be. Nothing. I know that’s the real answer… Yet, I see millions of possibilities. Will he be mine? Will he not? I am powerful, as is he. Together, we are powerless. We affect each other too much. He’s worth more than life, I’m worth less than dirt. His smile lights up a whole city. My smile lights up a small town. His smile lights up my heart… mine fuels his anger. Anger at the situation. Red, hot rage that I’m not her. I’m not who he expected. Three thoughts rang loud in my head: I want him, I need him, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t need me, he doesn’t want me. He’ll never know unless he walks in my shoes. His eyes are easy to drown in. I stare. Stare long enough I feel like I’m suffocating. Suffocating, and unable to escape. He has me in a chokehold. His eyes grip me and refuse to let go. His voice is a melody as simple as the fall leaves, swaying in the wind. Amazing to hear, soft to feel. Comforting. As warm as hot chocolate, melting the hard coating of a candy cane. He’s all I’ve ever dreamt of. Good to you, good for you, good with you… All things I dream of being. All things I know will remain just that. A dream.
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