I'M Sorry-A Poem For My Kids-Jani, Billy, Josh, and Kristin
I'm sorry to all of my children
How I wish I could go back to change
The wrong things I've put you all through
And to make time rearrange
Those times to good moments for all of you
I'm sorry for what my life, fears and screw ups have put all four of you through
I simply rolled with what those fears handed me
Yes I so should've done more
And not just let it be
I was so scared and didn't really know what to do
When you're standing inside a house with the rook on fire
Well you, in that moment, are to blind to see
What's happening all around
Now I see it all to clearly and the fire is burning everything down to the ground
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like I should've been
There's no excuse for it
Those wounds you now bear may not ever mend
And I live with that everyday
But that doesn't mean the love that I feel
For each one of you isn't real
It most certainly is
I'm not asking any of you to forgive me or accept my apology
But know that this all comes from my heart
Pain and rage will tear ones soul apart
And none of these words will make the past different, go away or any better
We do still have a chance, however, to overcome it and get through the stormy
weather together
Being better people in the end
So while this don't make my mistakes you bear go away
I still need to say
You can hate me more and more everyday
If that's what is helping you to get by and cope
But no matter how much hate you have for me, I still love all four of you
unconditionally
Perhaps one day you can each find it in your hearts to forgive me
Not for me, but for yourselves cause it's truly the only way you'll ever fully be able to
move on........Love Mom
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